Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
