The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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