Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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