we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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