Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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