So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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