youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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