I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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