Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
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When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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