im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
