My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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