I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
