I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
