just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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