is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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