Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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