i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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