We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
