I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
