turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Randomize
