You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My vagina just clenched in fear
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize