We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
