Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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