he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
