I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
