your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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