You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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