mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
