This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i dont even know how to be here
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
