it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
