so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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