The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
