I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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