just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
