so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
