I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
