I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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