You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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