apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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