using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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