I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
its not stalking. its research.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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