please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
