He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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