Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
