you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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