this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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