I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
