come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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