...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
