just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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