honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
