i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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