I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
