i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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