walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
