You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
