Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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