Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
