I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
