I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
