I'm really into asian looking animals
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
