he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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