It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
