He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
