yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Semen is not good for contacts.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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