he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
we're so committed to being not committed
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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